


we might as well just fuck

by domniall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Acceptence, Age Difference, M/M, Mentions of Voyeurism, Teasing, au where zayn is still around, basically niall needs dick to stay alive, it's niall's birthday, mentions of cross dressing, mentions of dom/sub, niall likes dick and harry knows, niall with men, reminiscing about sexual encounters, shame kink kinda?, slut shamming warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 15:57:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4143753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/domniall/pseuds/domniall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall is never too sure of himself, even when the whole room doesn't care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we might as well just fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Slut shamming is very bad and should never happen, but for the sake of the fic, Niall believes he is a "slut."  
> Set in the world where Zayn is still with us and nobody is married.

Niall had to take a step back, really. He had made it three steps into the crowded bar before he saw too many familiar faces. The slap of bodies and sting of latex on skin flooded his mind before he turned around completely and headed straight for the door he came through.

He thought, he was going completely out of his mind. They all weren’t in there, like. Like he had thought. No, no way. Ben and David worked in LA. Brez went back home for his parents’ anniversary. Sean and Darragh couldn’t make it. Mcbusted were on fucking tour.

So, he turned, and spat out the sour taste he had in his mouth and let his shame fall back into the deeper part of his gut before he let himself retrace the steps he had taken just moments ago. His skin instantly felt too hot as he stepped inside the club, the outside a huge contrast from how stuffy it was inside this bar. This tiny fucking bar that Harry rented for his party. This was his fault.

The ring of cheers coming from inside let him know that they knew he was here. He forced a grim smirk on his lips before he was waving. Waving to the men who cheered a chorus of his name across the heavy room. The low lights didn’t help either, fucking purples and reds. He felt like he was the main character in a bad porno, the bait.

He saw familiar faces all around him; Marvin at the mixing table, Olly, Eoghan and a few of the other boys from the infamous London Irish Crew in the booth, talking over the loud enough music. At the bar sat Louis and Liam, shit eating grins spread across their faces. Though he couldn’t see anything else, he could see them. His hands balled into fists as the sweat built up at the back of his neck right under the line of his browning hair.

“Niall, ayye! Glad da’ birthday boy could make it!” Louis cheered, almost spat out, but was harmless. “Didn’t take you as one to be late!” Louis threw his arm around the Niall standing next to him and pulled him into a limp hug. He smelled like stale smoke and expensive alcohol. Niall remembers how he pushed his face down into the pillow and pressed the heel of his hand just hard enough into Niall’s throat he saw stars. He shudders out of Louis grip but gives a brave smile.

“Yeah, mate, got in a bit late. Harry told me the wrong time.” Was a shit excuse, but it worked, with Louis shaking his head.

“Whatta’ shame. Here, have a drink, go talk, go gossip. Me n’ Payno will be here.” Niall tried to ignore Liam sitting there, a very slim smirk on his lips. He remembers the same smirk, after their last show from the Up All Night tour. It was soft, it was gentle, and he was kinda big.

Niall is very thankful that nobody can hear the ridiculous thoughts rumbling through his head and the hollow feeling in his stomach right now but him, cause if for that, he’d be dead. Or just really embarrassed. He finally slipped away from those two and was stood standing in the middle of the bar, men chatting all around him, giving small hey’s as he made it through.

And it’s not like Niall didn’t know anybody. He knew all of these people. He was friends with them all. Really good friends He knew their lives, he knew their birthdays. He knew their favorite songs. He knew how their morning breath tasted. He knew what body washed they used. He knew the feel of their fingers prodding around inside of his tight heat. He inhaled sharply and searched for a drink.

He finally got one, a straight whiskey, so he could hopefully loosen up and not feel like he couldn’t breathe.

It’s like, he had no reason to be nervous. To feel like he was being stared at. He was 21, he had a healthy appetite for different things. He wasn’t committed to anybody, and casual sex was a _normal_ thing. He made sure that they knew that, that all of them knew that. Even when they came back for a second, third, fourth…

“M’a whore.” Niall groaned to himself and basically jumped out of his skin when he heard the quiet voice behind him.

“Me too, mate. Which ya’ drinkin?” Dougie hummed out and glanced over Niall’s shoulder. The heavy breath that come out of Niall’s mouth was one of slight relief.

“Just some shit whiskey. Get me another one, yeah?” Niall blinked up at the other blond and he agreed with as smirk. The older guy ordered for them, his shirt riding up just enough when he lifted his shirt to show his tanner skin. Niall remembered biting down on his skinny hips, leaving bruises all over the skinner boy before he went down on him. He remembered riding those same hips later on, begging for it.

“Niall, bro..” Niall snapped out of it, his eyes blinking quick before he was looking up to Dougie’s face. “I asked, what’s wrong?”

Niall sat down his glass to the bar top before he shook his head. “Nothin’, s’just… weird. I feel weird. A birthday party.. without the family, just all the lads.. dunno.”

Niall did know. Niall knew exactly why he couldn’t look anybody in the eye. It was because the last time he looked any of them in the eye, they were bottomed out with hips flush against his own, moaning his name under their breath through their orgasm.

Their drinks came. Niall shot his down with a cough. Dougie’s eyebrows rose. While his throat burnt, the wave of shame that once held Niall back broke finally and he didn’t feel like a complete slut.

“Y’sure that’s really it? I mean, I’m sure you’re gonna have another party for the ‘rents and like, family.”

“Maybe it’s because I fuck everybody I know. I feckin’ hate Harold. Should never tell him shit.” Niall spoke out, nothing behind the playful, yet somewhat harsh words.

Dougie just laughed and took a sip from his own drink. “I’d say, bask in it. If the rumor’s true, you’ve got a fuck ton of guys who want you, go out and give ‘em what they want. Don’t sit and mope, ‘cause I know that ain’t you, man.”

Some big wheel clicked for Niall at the words that came from his slightly tipsy friend. “Wait, what rumor?!” Niall asked quick, but it was too late, and the bass player was already gone to the dance floor, grinding against Tom as the loud thrum of some pop club song plays in the background.

Marvin always had music on, even when he fucked him. He fucked Niall to the beat of a remix of a Drake song in the club bathroom, Niall’s face in the dirty wall with his hands pinned behind his back. It was quick and a bit messy, but Niall didn’t walk for a few days after that one, so just the way he liked it.

Niall pushed himself through another glass, telling himself it was for the confidence before he pushed himself off the bar stool. The first face he sees is Ben’s. So he makes his way towards the floor and smirks.

Ben was older, different. He swears he got to him before Harry did, but to let Harry live his dream, Niall keeps his mouth shut. They went back to Niall’s place after the This Is Us premiere; for drinks, they said. Niall was buzzing and Ben felt the same, pride running through his veins, so it wasn’t a surprise that halfway through their drinks, Niall climbed him like a tree in the middle of his kitchen and got fucked on his kitchen counter. Again, in the bed. And then the shower the next morning.

He starts there, dancing to the heavy beat of music and he’s grinning big. He catches the sight of Harry out of the corner of his eye and his head snaps for a moment to see him head on. Harry has a lazy smirk and the only thing he gives Harry is a glare and mouths the words “fuck you” before he returns to moving his hips. Harry just laughs and sips on his drink.

Niall remembers Harry like it was yesterday, and not five years ago. All Niall really says when people ask if anything goes on between him and harry is “Mullingar, 2010.” Of course the quick blowies here and there on tour, and the ones not on tour.

He catches a glimpse of Julian and John sitting in their corner, conversing in between each other. He remembered clearly how the two of them liked to mess around while on the job, and they sure did a damn good job of messing around with Niall, using him as their little toy. He could trust them, he knew them. So when he got a small smack on the cheek when he disobeyed John, he made sure to do it right this time, his hand sliding up and down Julian’s length while his lips wrapped around his teeth before sucking again on the prick in front of him. However, this time, when he’s looking over their eyes, they’re smiling and holding up their beers, toasting Niall. Their little Niall.

Though, the second true face he see’s was Bressie’s and fuck, his breath catches. He plays it cool, though, giving the big man a smirk.

Yeah, Bressie was different. Bressie was the first one who took his time with him, made him feel important, made him feel right. The first one who told him “Sex doesn’t make you a bad person.” and “Have as much as you want, pup.” He didn’t feel pressured with him, he didn’t feel like he had to give a show. They were just there to please each other.

The larger man came up behind him, sinking his head down in next to Niall’s to whisper a “Hey, pup” into his shoulder before his hands came and rested against his hips. Fuck that name he used. His body shuddered along the frm body behind him but he kept moving with the music, his grin never straying. He’d call Bressie next week, probably.

As the music picked up and bubbled up through Niall’s body, he felt himself loosen. He felt the taller man behind him rut his hips once, twice into his ass before another breath was hitching into his throat. He’d have to wait, though, because Bressie stepped away from him with a fleeting “be back in a mo.” and that’s all he heard from him.

Niall turned around and swallowed down the words of “Let me come” because he was now faced with somebody he didn’t think to see here.

“Ror?” Niall blinked, and yeah, it was Rory standing in front of him.

“Hey there.” He took a long look over the younger boy standing in front of him and he cocked his head just a bit before. “You seem to be having fun.”

Niall laughed out, nothing but annoyance and embarrassment behind it. That makes him think of the night after the Masters match, and Niall hit a ball into the water on national television. Niall also fell on national television, Rory right beside him. Though Niall felt like a hot mess, dirt and grime on his nice white uniform, Rory had made sure to tell him he looked good. And he continued to do so, even after they made it back to Rory’s rented house and got Niall’s legs up over his shoulders before fucking him down into the bed half the night. “You look so good.” rang through his head.

“You look good.” He said, again, in real time, and Niall could just drop to his knees and show this man _good_ but he wasn’t into voyeurism and his kneed had been acting up. Niall instead tugged him to the middle of the floor and moved around with him, making the golfer laugh as his feet moved at the pace with Niall’s.

They stayed like that, all the guys dancing. Dancing around Niall, dancing with each other, dancing with friends. Niall saw Ed and thought about wine, their guitars, his high pitched moans when he came. Niall saw Olly, he remembered clean, he remembered soft, he remembered being teased about his chest hair and pouting before slamming his hips right down onto him and watching the older man groan and forget about the jab. Niall saw Eoghan and remembered beer, he remembered sticky, he remembered fast. He remembered talking about football after, during their wash up, and it going back to completely normal.

He can barely breathe in between all the bodies. His shirt has gone damp, his frizzed out hair sticking to his forehead, his hips grinding against somebody random.

He pushes on the body in front of him, David, he thinks, and moves out of the cluster of all the guys around him. He’s having trouble seeing straight and the line he walks in isn’t exactly straight, but it leads to a lit up sign which he thinks reads ‘Exit’ so he goes for it.

The cooler air hits him in the face like that one time they dressed up like football players and David did nothing but smacked his ass that night. He left hand prints, and Niall made sure to return the tease, grinding his red ass against the tent in David’s pants until he was near orgasm, Niall only stopping when he heard his name under the grunts coming from his mouth.

He stops and moves himself up against the outside of the building, his face pressing along the cool brick and he’s able to fill his lungs up completely. He can smell the burn of smoke somewhere and the stale night of London after a day of rain and it feels good. He doesn’t feel locked in. He doesn’t feel like they’re judging him. “They aren’t.” He barely speaks out.

“They aren’t what?” A familiar voice asks from the dark and Niall’s too out of it at the moment to flinch. The smoke he smelled had been a lit ciagrette in the hands of Zayn. He was across the alley way, up against the wall.

“They aren’t judging me.. They don’t care.” Niall said again, in relief, licking over his lips. He can taste the salt from his sweat and as Zayn moves closer to him, right next to him actually, he can smell the boy too. Smell him enough to taste it. He can smell is strong cologne, and how it clashes with the stale cigarette smell. He always liked how it lingered on him.

“Nah, why would they be, Nialler?” He used that name when he ate him out the last time. His wide tongue spreading across his pale thighs up in between his cheeks to the pink puckered hole.

“Cause, like.. I’m, y’know. I’m a whore.” Zayn snorted like Niall had told a joke.

“Far from it, love. No such thing.. You like sex, you like dick. That’s good, that’s healthy. Nobody in ‘ere thinks you’re some innocent lad. Yeah.. you run around, actin’ a fool, making everybody smile, and laugh. ‘Church boy,’ they say.  That’s you. But… you gotta take care of you, too. And you do. Get laid, and good.” Zayn holds out his cigarette to Niall and the boy takes it graciously, taking a long drag from it. The last time they shared one, Niall sat in Zayn’s bed with a nice orange pair of panties on in between goes; Zayn’s head in Niall’s lap while his fingers carded through the jet black hair.

“Is ‘at why.. he did this?” Niall asked, stubbing out the butt against the brick wall before dropping it into the puddle below them.

Zayn shrugged before letting out laugh. “Guess so. Y’never know with Harry.”

“‘l’ll kill him.” Zayn just laughs with his head clunking back against the wall where they rested.

Niall watched him glow under the moonlight before standing himself up straight. The blond finally spoke up. “I need a drink. Or a good fuck.”

Zayn smirked to the sky. “Think there’s at least 20 guys in there who could give you both and so much more.”

Niall finally glanced up to him. “You’re not in there.”

Zayn just shrugged and finally brought his attention back to Niall below him. Niall took it upon himself to grip onto the cuff of Zayn’s jacket and he tugged him close with as smirk. When he could finally pull the door open for them both, he drug him back inside, drinks and men wating.

\--

The party ended when Niall accidently got so worked up in the heat, he literally creamed his jeans. (With some help of Harry’s dick digging into his ass.) Niall had decided that his birthday celebrations didn’t have to end just there, and he was dragging Harry and Zayn along with him into the cab waiting for them outside.

Once in back, with the air conditioning on to keep them awake, Zayn went straight for Niall’s neck while Harry took it simple and cupped him through his jeans. In between the moans and whimpers for them both, Niall spoke up through his ragged breaths.

“What… what was the rumor going around?” He finally choked out, whining out as Zayn sunk his teeth into the soft skin.

Harry backed up for a moment and let his eyes wander, the gears clicking in his head. He finally spoke out a moment later. “Oh! You were here to film one of ‘em gross pornos..”

Niall deadpans at Harry and he can hear the muffled laughed from Zayn and feel his hot breath against his neck, making the skin damp.

“Disgusting.” Niall said, before his hand playfully jabbed into Harry’s side. Harry let out a whimpered “ow” while Niall turned to press his wet lips against Zayn’s plump and ready ones.

He’d kill Harry later once he was done with his cock.


End file.
